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#1 2006-05-15 23:09:33

"Bad News" Bob
Moderator
From: Lexington, NC
Registered: 2003-03-05
Posts: 5,019
Height: 192.25cm

HEADLINES

You've seen Jay Leno's verison hopefully. Here's your chance to post headline's or bi-lines that may or may not make Jay's cut if you were so inclined to go to the trouble of sending one. Posting the actual link is not required, but is not discouraged either. They can come from any source, print media, TV, commerical, or internet. As always use your own discretion as to what may or may not be appropriate.


The ultimate result of shielding men from the effects of folly is to fill the world with fools.

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#2 2006-05-15 23:14:42

"Bad News" Bob
Moderator
From: Lexington, NC
Registered: 2003-03-05
Posts: 5,019
Height: 192.25cm

Re: HEADLINES

[size=14]Man that beat off a bear wishes to remain anonymous.[/size] Fort Frances Times Online


The ultimate result of shielding men from the effects of folly is to fill the world with fools.

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#3 2006-05-16 00:37:21

bikerbabe
Very Tall
From: Illinois, USA
Registered: 2005-07-18
Posts: 869
Website

Re: HEADLINES

These aren't headlines, but are the signs in front of a couple of businesses I pass by frequently.  My inner child gets the giggles when I see them.

Virgin Chiropractic 

Dr. T. L. Wagy, Veterinarian

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#4 2006-05-17 19:16:27

"Bad News" Bob
Moderator
From: Lexington, NC
Registered: 2003-03-05
Posts: 5,019
Height: 192.25cm

Re: HEADLINES

[size=17]British develop new flavour of Pop-Tart: Baked beans.[/size]


The ultimate result of shielding men from the effects of folly is to fill the world with fools.

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#5 2006-05-18 17:46:31

"Bad News" Bob
Moderator
From: Lexington, NC
Registered: 2003-03-05
Posts: 5,019
Height: 192.25cm

Re: HEADLINES

[size=21]Hallucinations lead to bust[/size]
Terrified drug dealers committed a serious error by calling police for help with their hallucinations.


The ultimate result of shielding men from the effects of folly is to fill the world with fools.

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#6 2006-05-18 18:24:29

"Bad News" Bob
Moderator
From: Lexington, NC
Registered: 2003-03-05
Posts: 5,019
Height: 192.25cm

Re: HEADLINES

[size=14]Doctor convicted of gunning down seagull that crapped in his wife's salad[/size]


The ultimate result of shielding men from the effects of folly is to fill the world with fools.

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#7 2006-05-18 21:59:14

Archer
Moderator
From: Illinois, USA
Registered: 2003-08-24
Posts: 4,407
Height: 6' 5"
Website

Re: HEADLINES

[size=14]Jane Fonda to teens: Use head to avoid pregnancy.[/size]


http://i107.photobucket.com/albums/m319/archerev/Links/Stickman2-1.jpg

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#8 2006-05-19 03:43:33

bikerbabe
Very Tall
From: Illinois, USA
Registered: 2005-07-18
Posts: 869
Website

Re: HEADLINES

[size=21]Secret rooms hidden deep in bowels[/size]

from MSNBC 5/18/06

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#9 2006-05-20 00:37:24

"Bad News" Bob
Moderator
From: Lexington, NC
Registered: 2003-03-05
Posts: 5,019
Height: 192.25cm

Re: HEADLINES

Police go to village to investigate crime, find villagers harvesting cucumbers, fire shots to get villagers out of canoes, force one to masturbate. Without the link this one would be completely unbelievable. --- Link


The ultimate result of shielding men from the effects of folly is to fill the world with fools.

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#10 2006-05-20 04:52:15

Sixft9
Extremely Tall
From: MA
Registered: 2004-11-23
Posts: 1,134
Height: 6'9"
Website

Re: HEADLINES

MAN PUT JETSKI IN THE WATER FIRST THING TOMORROW MORNING, RAIN OR SHINE.  MAN REALLY TALL AND COULD DOUBLE AS A LIGHTNING ROD.  MAN REALLY, REALLY HOPES THAT THE THUNDER HOLDS OFF UNTIL AFTER HE IS SAFELY OUT OF THE WATER....NEWS AT 11!

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#11 2006-05-20 05:15:05

"Bad News" Bob
Moderator
From: Lexington, NC
Registered: 2003-03-05
Posts: 5,019
Height: 192.25cm

Re: HEADLINES

[size=14]Hospitalized husband says wife shredded his privates[/size]
[size=8](By DANA DiFILIPPO)[/size]

WITH THEIR wedding anniversary less than two weeks away, Howard Randolph was thinking romance. He hoped to take his wife, Monica, out for an intimate dinner and maybe an oldies-but-goodies show to celebrate 11 years of matrimony.

But yesterday, his mind was more on divorce and jail for his wife after she almost became Philadelphia's own Lorena Bobbitt.

Monica Randolph didn't need a kitchen knife. She took matters into her own hands.

The Nicetown man said he had been sleeping peacefully in the couple's bed Tuesday night when his wife pounced on him without warning, grabbed his groin, dug her manicured fingernails in and flayed him, leaving his gore-slicked gonads dangling much lower than normal.

"She didn't use no weapon - this was just sheer brute strength and fingernails. She grabbed me by my [scrotum] and ripped it apart with her bare hands," Randolph said yesterday from his hospital bed at Albert Einstein Medical Center, where he was in stable condition with stitched and bandaged genitals.

Randolph, 52, said the 10:30 p.m. attack jolted him agonizingly awake, but his consciousness didn't faze his single-minded wife, who, he said, continued to yank on his privates.

"She would not let go; I had to hit her to get her off me. My hand's are all swollen from hitting her," he said, adding that the attack ended only after he fled the house, locked her in and limped to a corner pay phone to call police.

A neighbor who heard the commotion also called police, who took Monica Randolph into custody and charged her with aggravated assault and related offenses.

Talk about a strict violation of the penal code.

Howard Randolph said his wife tore "everything out of the sac and all the skin away."

Just the thought triggers most men to hunch over and wince, but Randolph said he felt "fine" yesterday thanks to the morphine that doctors administered.


The ultimate result of shielding men from the effects of folly is to fill the world with fools.

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#12 2006-05-20 11:23:56

Archer
Moderator
From: Illinois, USA
Registered: 2003-08-24
Posts: 4,407
Height: 6' 5"
Website

Re: HEADLINES

Wha'd he do? Leave the seat up again?  yikes


http://i107.photobucket.com/albums/m319/archerev/Links/Stickman2-1.jpg

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#13 2006-05-21 18:11:20

"Bad News" Bob
Moderator
From: Lexington, NC
Registered: 2003-03-05
Posts: 5,019
Height: 192.25cm

Re: HEADLINES

As it turns out she was on a four day pass from a mental hopital, and had not taken her medicine. YA Think! 


The ultimate result of shielding men from the effects of folly is to fill the world with fools.

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#14 2006-05-21 20:29:58

bikerbabe
Very Tall
From: Illinois, USA
Registered: 2005-07-18
Posts: 869
Website

Re: HEADLINES

[size=14]4,000 mothers set breast feeding record[/size]

Phillipines, Assoc Press story

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#15 2006-05-21 22:57:54

Artistamy
Vertically Gifted
Registered: 2005-05-03
Posts: 2,408
Website

Re: HEADLINES

"Bad News" Bob,May 20 2006, 12:37 AM wrote:

Police go to village to investigate crime, find villagers harvesting cucumbers, fire shots to get villagers out of canoes, force one to masturbate. Without the link this one would be completely unbelievable. --- Link


What amazed me is how they forced one to masturbate with the hole in a bottle--how on Earth is that possible??? (es, I show my inexperience with this one!)

Amy

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#16 2006-05-22 17:01:50

"Bad News" Bob
Moderator
From: Lexington, NC
Registered: 2003-03-05
Posts: 5,019
Height: 192.25cm

Re: HEADLINES

Some 22 murderers and 7 rapists have escaped from Leyhill Open Prison in the last eight years. Officials are reluctant to admit that this is evidence that honour system prisons might not be working


The ultimate result of shielding men from the effects of folly is to fill the world with fools.

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#17 2006-05-30 21:49:43

bikerbabe
Very Tall
From: Illinois, USA
Registered: 2005-07-18
Posts: 869
Website

Re: HEADLINES

Man frees puppy from alligator's grip
Owner jumps into water and starts beating the gator with his fists   :unsure:
 

MSNBC.com  May 30, 2006

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#18 2006-06-01 02:30:13

"Bad News" Bob
Moderator
From: Lexington, NC
Registered: 2003-03-05
Posts: 5,019
Height: 192.25cm

Re: HEADLINES

[size=21]Woman Hit By Lightning While Praying[/size]

DAPHNE, Ala. -- Worried about the safety of her family during a stormy Memorial Day trip to the beach, Clara Jean Brown stood in her kitchen and prayed for their safe return as a strong thunderstorm rumbled through Baldwin County, Alabama.

But while she prayed, lightning suddenly exploded, blowing through the linoleum and leaving a blackened area on the concrete. Brown wound up on the floor, dazed and disoriented by the blast but otherwise uninjured.

She said 'Amen' and the room was engulfed in a huge ball of fire. The 65-year-old Brown said she is blessed to be alive.

Firefighters said its likely she was hit by a bolt of lightning that apparently struck outside and traveled into the house yesterday afternoon. She was found lying on the floor by her 14-year-old granddaughter.

Fire officials think the lightning likely struck across the street from the couple's home and traveled into the house through a water line. The lightning continued into the couple's backyard and ripped open a small trench.

A family member said he will no longer assume it is safe to be indoors during a lightning strike.


The ultimate result of shielding men from the effects of folly is to fill the world with fools.

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#19 2006-06-01 04:13:46

nurse_marcey
Extremely Tall
From: Connecticut
Registered: 2005-01-14
Posts: 1,520
Height: 6'3"
Website

Re: HEADLINES

BAN ON NUDE DANCING ON GOVERNOR'S DESK

And here's a future headline:

UGLY TOED MAN LOSES TO STUNNING REDHEAD IN JETSKI RACE


http://i42.photobucket.com/albums/e315/nurse_marcey/3.jpg

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#20 2006-06-06 19:57:00

"Bad News" Bob
Moderator
From: Lexington, NC
Registered: 2003-03-05
Posts: 5,019
Height: 192.25cm

Re: HEADLINES

Citizen helps officer subdue 7 foot tall suspect.


The ultimate result of shielding men from the effects of folly is to fill the world with fools.

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#21 2006-06-07 02:04:49

nurse_marcey
Extremely Tall
From: Connecticut
Registered: 2005-01-14
Posts: 1,520
Height: 6'3"
Website

Re: HEADLINES

"Bad News" Bob,Jun 6 2006, 07:57 PM wrote:

Citizen helps officer subdue 7 foot tall suspect.


Great!  Another black eye for the tall community...

...I wonder how she was able to put her hands on his head as she put him into the police car.  wink


http://i42.photobucket.com/albums/e315/nurse_marcey/3.jpg

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#22 2006-08-15 22:08:12

"Bad News" Bob
Moderator
From: Lexington, NC
Registered: 2003-03-05
Posts: 5,019
Height: 192.25cm

Re: HEADLINES

[size=14]Reward offered to anyone that kills an American[/size]

The following was written by an Australian Dentist:

You probably missed it in the rush of news last week, but there was actually a report that someone in Pakistan had published in a newspaper an offer of a reward to anyone who killed an American, any American.

So an Australian dentist wrote an editorial the following day to let everyone know what an American is. So they would know when they found one. (Good one, mate!!!!)

"An American is English, or French, or Italian, Irish, German, Spanish, Polish, Russian or Greek. An American may also be Canadian, Mexican, African, Indian, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, Australian, Iranian, Asian, or Arab, or Pakistani or Afghan.

An American may also be a Comanche, Cherokee, Osage, Blackfoot, Navaho, Apache, Seminole or one of the many other tribes known as native Americans.

An American is Christian, or he could be Jewish, or Buddhist, or Muslim. In fact, there are more Muslims in America than in Afghanistan. The only difference is that in America they are free to worship as each of them chooses.

An American is also free to believe in no religion. For that he will answer only to God, not to the government, or to armed thugs claiming to speak for the government and for God.

An American lives in the most prosperous land in the history of the world. The root of that prosperity can be found in the Declaration of Independence, which recognizes the God given right of each person to the pursuit of happiness.

An American is generous. Americans have helped out just about every other nation in the world in their time of need, never asking a thing in return.

When Afghanistan was over-run by the Soviet army 20 years ago, Americans came with arms and supplies to enable the people to win back their country!

As of the morning of September 11, Americans had given more than any other nation to the poor in Afghanistan. Americans welcome the best of everything...the best products, the best books, the best music, the best food, the best services. But they also welcome the least.

The national symbol of America, The Statue of Liberty , welcomes your tired and your poor, the wretched refuse of your teeming shores, the homeless, tempest tossed. These in fact are the people who built America.

Some of them were working in the Twin Towers the morning of September 11, 2001 earning a better life for their families. It's been told that the World Trade Center victims were from at least 30 different countries, cultures, and first languages, including those that aided and abetted the terrorists.

So you can try to kill an American if you must. Hitler did. So did General Tojo, and Stalin, and Mao Tse-Tung, and other blood-thirsty tyrants in the world. But, in doing so you would just be killing yourself. Because Americans are not a particular people from a particular place. They are the embodiment of the human spirit of freedom. Everyone who holds to that spirit, everywhere, is an American.


The ultimate result of shielding men from the effects of folly is to fill the world with fools.

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#23 2006-08-18 03:56:34

"Bad News" Bob
Moderator
From: Lexington, NC
Registered: 2003-03-05
Posts: 5,019
Height: 192.25cm

Re: HEADLINES

[size=15]Muslims in Manhattan find that the giant poster of a topless Kate Moss right next to their mosque is not really in harmony with their spiritual goals.[/size]


The ultimate result of shielding men from the effects of folly is to fill the world with fools.

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#24 2006-10-26 16:08:02

"Bad News" Bob
Moderator
From: Lexington, NC
Registered: 2003-03-05
Posts: 5,019
Height: 192.25cm

Re: HEADLINES

The Chico, California, City Council enacted a ban on nuclear weapons, setting a $500 fine for anyone detonating one within city limits.

[size=14]This must be where Wylie Coyote[/size] lives.


The ultimate result of shielding men from the effects of folly is to fill the world with fools.

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#25 2006-11-30 00:52:03

bikerbabe
Very Tall
From: Illinois, USA
Registered: 2005-07-18
Posts: 869
Website

Re: HEADLINES

[size=14]<span style='font-size:21pt;line-height:100%'>Man accused of spray-painting three goats[/size]</span>
 
MAHOPAC, N.Y. - A man broke into a barn on Thanksgiving morning, spray-painted three pet goats and scattered pages of pornographic magazines on the floor, apparently to harass the property owner, police said Tuesday.

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